(That being said, if I had to work on a Maroon 5 video I’d probably try to tank it too.The visuals in the song can literally make your head spin, not with the number of celebrities, but by the revolving shots, features famous women from all walks of life including comediennes, YouTube personalities, sports-persons, actresses, singers, politicians and entrepreneurs. It’s fair enough that none of these people wanted to actually film in close proximity to Adam Levine, but honestly, the editors responsible for these digital insertions probably need to be fired. The rest of the “Girls Like You” video is similarly unfortunate: most of the actual content is just digitally-inserted footage of a bunch of famous and semi-famous female stars, including Mary J Blige, Gal Gadot, Millie Bobby Brown (Who’s a minor, by the way! Please, Millie Bobby Brown’s agent, don’t let Millie Bobby Brown become associated with Adam Levine!), Tiffany Haddish, Jennifer Lopez, and Camilla Cabello. I hope Cardi got paid one billion dollars for this song, because realistically, that’s the only amount of money that would have made this brand association worth it. Cardi looks fucking resplendent wearing an oversized mustard yellow jacket in this video, and honestly, I’m pretty pissed that this excellent look was wasted on such a heinous song and video. At one point she says “You need someone to spice it up,” probably a line pulled direct from an internal memo written by Maroon 5’s A&R about the original version of this track. She raps about how she’s less interested in a white horse and a carriage than she is, say, a sick car and diamonds, which I very much support. Cardi’s verse is this song’s saving grace, because it’s basically the antithesis of Adam Levine’s whole weird muscular robot thing.
“Girls Like You” is very bad, yes, but even the most toxic chemtrail clouds have silver linings: Cardi B is on this track, so you know that at least one verse isn’t going to make your eyes roll into the back of your head and never come back.
#MAROON 5 GIRLS LIKE YOU FT CARDI B FREE#
But I wish Maroon 5 weren’t so damn fond of releasing songs like this, deformed 3-and-a-half-minute pieces of low-carb low-fat gluten free sludge that make me question whether we, humanity, deserve music at all. I am, after all, a human being with ears and a heart, so of course I think “ What Lovers Do” is a jam and “ Don’t Wanna Know” is pretty damn catchy and “Moves Like Jagger” is, unfortunately, absolute fire. This song will probably get played at roughly ten thousand weddings this year, and to the wedding DJs about to add this song to their playlist, I beg of you: please, just play another Bruno Mars song instead. I actively resent these people, these awful masochists who keep driving demand for songs like “Girls Like You”-horrid, weird, marshmallow-soft songs sung by dudes pining after a ‘good girl’ who will finally fix all of their problems through the power of love. “Girls Like You” is the kind of horrible, bleached-white acoustic-guitar-loop love song that’s going to make twenty billion fucking dollars, because apparently a lot of people really enjoy this kind of song. Apparently the band didn’t know that was an MRA term, as if they’ve never even spent a half-second on the internet. “Girls Like You” (featuring Cardi B) is a remix of “Girls Like You” from Maroon 5’s latest (terribly titled) album Red Pill Blues.
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